“If you have raced with men on foot, and they have wearied you, how will you compete with horses? And if in a safe land you fall down, how will you do in the jungle of the Jordan?" - Jeremiah 12:5
Safety is important to almost every sane human being. Community is likewise vital to the health of individuals, especially mental health. The need we have as people to belong, to fly with birds of ourfeather, drives us to seek connection.
I'm a member of quite a few writer's groups on Facebook. Early in my career as a writer, I eschewed writers' groups and writers' associations, either local face to face ones, or as they become available, online communities. Generally, I like my own company and although I enjoy spending time with people, I can find them quite tiring. In our various professions, and in life generally, the highlights and the lowlights are about people. Most of us have experienced both good and bad relationships, and like the little girl with the curl in the middle of her forehead, when relationships are bad, they are horrid.
Learning how to navigate interpersonal relationships is one of the great struggles we face in life. Relationships can bring great joy and awful pain.
Having been around a while, I acknowledge the risks and rewards of relationships, and I try to not be the cause of other people's pain.
It amuses me, although perhaps sometimes it shouldn't, and saddens me in equal measure to observe how people treat other people, especially how careless some can be with their words, and how little regard some have for other people's feelings. Empathy is neither a common nor naturally occurring quality.
You would expect writers to be supportive and encouraging towards other writers. You would expect some effort would be made to avoid negativity, cynicism, and trivial arguments and their associated personal attacks. It may be difficult sometimes to play the ball rather than the man, but it is the only way to play fair.
On the whole, I receive a modicum of benefit from my membership in online writers' groups - less than I would like, but over time, I have endeavored to focus more on making positive contributions. By giving some helpful advice, or adding a word of encouragement, I hope I'm making a difference. As an unknown and part time writer with ten books under my belt and over 100 short story publishing credits, I understand how difficult the journey is. I get it, so I want to show empathy to my fellow writers and
use words which build up rather than tear down.
The relative anonymity of online communications, particularly through social media, brings out the best in some people and the worst in others. Although I get discouraged sometimes, I am strong enough to push through disappointment, failure, and disillusionment. My faith is essential in keeping me mentally and emotionally healthy; it is the secret to my resilience.
"A little light in a lot of darkness goes a long way." (Roots in Stereo - POD)
Lets be nice to each other.
Heavy metal lover and cricket tragic, D.A. Cairns lives on the south coast of News South Wales. He works as a freelance writer, has had over 100 short stories published, and has authored seven novels, and a superficial and unscientific memoir, I Used to be an Animal Lover. His latest book is the I Used to be an Animal Lover anthology. You may like to visit his website http://dacairns.com.au
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