Many of us writers are sending out pieces of work, short or long, for submission for publication. I am sure many writers can relate to this process, and might like some insight into what that process has been like for me, to hear my perspective if it helps anyone else on their journey. It's always nice to identify with what other people are experiencing and learning, so I will share my experiences in case it helps others understand the process for themselves.
First, no success yet. But let me pick up where I left off. I wrote an earlier blog about the first short story I had workshopped, and mentioned that historically I haven't particularly enjoyed short stories. I've had that context mentally in my head in terms of thinking about the subjectivity of what people "like" in my stories that do not spell everything out for the reader.
After the first story I wrote about, I wrote a second story that is slipstream. I haven't written a post about slipstream, so I will not delve into my experience with the genre here. Then I took a long break. I had hoped to have them published this summer as some much-needed "wins" to help motivate me to work toward my goals after a lot of burnout and depression from the past 18 months. I had three goals this summer: get a medical procedure put on hold for over a year, see a major step forward in my personal life, and get some short stories published. One of those things has happened...
The first story I submitted to around 10 opportunities. It was the beginning of summer, so the options were limited and I tried to get submissions before deadlines closed. The second story I wrote with one journal in mind and touched on the explicit themes of interest. I was surprised so far to receive five rejections, though I know many people say they collect rejections like badges. Every rejection was "positive" in that it was clear these journals wanted me to send them work in the future... i.e. could tell I was a good writer. So what's the problem? That's the question I asked. The first story contained some content warning about sexual assault, and is very current. I thought "what is wrong with them if this is not the right time to publish current topical themes?"
Over the summer one positive step that I did not have a year ago completing my novel - when I had lost contact with anyone in the writing world after not being involved for a decade - I connected with an alumni critique group and had a response from my university professor. The professor was helpful in connecting me with other faculty members who might have more availability than my attempts to contact faculty who did not know me or one who is married to a friend and has a very fully packed life. One of the women in the critique group also writes literary short, so she said she would be happy to take a look at my first short.
Finally one of the rejecting journals did offer complementary editorial feedback for submitted work, so I sent in a request. There were some things that were not surprising. For example, all of my early drafts appear to have some tense inconsistencies, so I was disappointed in myself that I did not correct them enough. Then the other theme, since this is the second short story that had similar feedback, is that the endings needed to be stronger to connect to the rest of the work. He had some other comments about the themes in the different parts of the short, which I will agree to disagree, but the note underneath the note is that I did not sell it enough for him to understand.
However, there is one comment he made I really wanted to address. When I had this short workshopped about abuses in sports medicine, the first draft had avoided specifics about sport to try to make it universal that everyone could connect with. My critique group said it had the opposite effect. They said, for example, they don't like horse racing, at all, but will connect with a story about that world of horse racing the more specific it gets - I thought of some films I like, Sea Biscuit and Ride Like a Girl. I did ride horses when I was younger, but could see the power of these stories with those who had no experience.
The editorial feedback told me, ironically, that the sport jargon was "too much" and followed this comment with a pet peeve of mine in the writing world use of "jargon." He "complemented" me for my study of "craft" which is the most general meaningless jargon words I have ever heard overused. In fact, if I am in the presence of anyone who starts talking about "craft" I check out or leave. Because it does not mean anything. It is not specific and gets thrown around as a crutch and catch phrase by people who appear to want to sound like they know what they are talking about. That is a pet peeve of mine whether I am among the medical community and doctor-speak cannot use regular language to describe concepts because they think the jargon makes them sound more impressive, or any similar community with its own language of code that people wanting to appear to be "in the club" thinks using will signal to others. That is what I read when I hear anyone use the word "craft."
That at least makes me understand that the thematic content is not the obstacle. However it does not necessarily disperse my frustration. Back to the consistent responses to my submissions - it is clear that every journal recognises my abilities as a writer. Really my response to this "it is clear that [I have studied] the craft of what makes a good short story" comment kind of hits me the same way as editors who talked down to me a year ago telling me I "needed to learn humility" because I was too confident. Sure, one of my writing groups has had a short story club to help me overcome my aversion to the short form, and a friend has shared some instructional videos, half of which were helpful - literally one video I watched the first half before checking out. As if I studied anything recently to know how to write rather than having an excellent education and learning complex sentence structure grammar when I was 12. I can visualise that class. I think it was the same teacher who did economics when I was 13 and taught us how to make stock market trades.
My frustration is that here I am, struggling financially, with no money to pay my editor to help me edit my novel - just wanting to publish some shorts to find some motivation - and I am just met with consistent editor feedback who recognise my ability but then the feedback is "sorry, go spend money to get an editor to help you make this ready." The way I feel is "if I am a good writer, why is the consistent message not just to help me publish something instead of telling me I need money to spend on an editor to make that happen?" Over the past nine months, I have worked with an editor/ writing coach on my novel revision and help me remember how to use language for creative writing instead of the professional and business language that rendered my first draft very stiff. However, I am not good enough at self-editing work that I am close to, because like other friends, I write to process and work through emotional things in my life. When I read my own writing, I connect to the emotions that went into the writing, and it is not possible to be objective to consider all of these other elements.
A friend who is not from a Western culture wrote a blog post about her experience with the editorial community, and interpreting a lot of the attitudes as "colonial." My response to her was, no, even as someone coming from the same culture, they are patronising and condescending and arrogant and think they can tell you what you need to know and change about your writing. It continues to require money just to have your writing ready for publication, and if I am experiencing this, consider those having a much harder time navigating it than I am, confronted with the lack of democratisation or actual help to have good writing developed and ready to be out there in the world.
In terms of these short stories, all are eventually working toward a suggested collection about being a woman in the world today and the different types of obstacles faced, but I have not had it as a big priority to continue adding very rapidly to it. However, in order to process some of the issues coming up personally, I did start a new short story. It draws on a lot of intersecting themes that a performance artist friend I know has been exploring as well as themes working through in some German historical films and family have been trying to process. Those conversation sets the context of the new piece, which will be my first ever beginning to write about or broach some of the issues of Germany. The performance artist friend requested particularly that I might write something about my German family who were victims of the KKK in the Jim Crow south, for not obeying Jim Crow laws. This poses some hurdles for me - not only do I have a long list of historical fiction I could write surrounding women in my family, but trying to write this topic feels like opening a can of worms. It seems that the natural way to write that story would be through the eyes of the daughter, but I find it hard to do in a small snippet about the single incident for a short, without panning out to show her life educating university students coming from bad inner city schools in a city where she heard constant messaging that as a white woman she could not know "anything." The thrust would of course be to juxtapose the Southern American boys who fought the nazis creating an environment where my family wouldn't say they were German, contrasted with the Southern culture executing horrible racial hate crimes without irony about hating "Nazis/ Germans."
So I feel like it's too intense for me to pick up and address in a short at this moment, while my current projects are all related on the modern and contemporary experience, except the novel which is imagined history in a secondary world.
Addendum: The first short story has been accepted for first publication, without spending any money or making any changes suggested by men, mostly. However, I have sent all of those critiques to my University literature department and expressed interest in any discussion with members who are discussing themes of gender and literature.
Addendum 2: The second story was also accepted for publication in September 2021. Follow for the upcoming blog announcements about each, and the new page on the website where you can be directed.
