Today I have been working on some writing exercises to show more, to practice narrative voice, and pov. On one workshop, I was able to post a writing example in response to an exercise in the notes, but this online course didn't have the same option.
The prompt is: Show "the mall was very busy"
All of the people at the mall that Black Friday, the peak traffic day of the year, had little preparation for the events that were about to happen. Allison arrived to meet her friends in the foodcourt. She couldn't wait to see Jake. She hoped he noticed the pink sweater, hair bow, and earrings she chose just for him. The bustle and people jostling her made it hard to find them. She was still alone when she heard the scream "Bomb," and just barely managed to duck into a maintenance corridor before a wave of people scattering threatened to flatten her.
On the other side of the mall, there was a boy cowering in a doorway, for a different reason. The bomb threat had not yet reached them. He hated it when dad was angry. It always resulted in violence. He felt ashamed to see his father's tirade in this public place, but the volume of the chatter of passers-by, who seemed totally self-absorbed in their consumeristic goals for the day, drowned out the impending danger he saw with terror in his eyes.
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